Thoughts on the meaning of "Family"

Last night, a good family friend, Betty, passed away. Betty had been part of my extended family for about 55 years. Her and her husband were best friends to my grandparents. We celebrated nearly every birthday, Thanksgiving, and Christmas together. Her husband passed away four years ago, and she had been in poor, and declining, health ever since.

Today, a good friend is having brain surgery to remove a tumor that was discovered Monday. He had no symptoms leading up to a massive seizure, which led to the ER visit and subsequent diagnosis.

In the midst of this, I am reminded that "family" does not require a blood bond. We gather friend-families wherever we live, work, and socialize. Sometimes, these bonds survive time, relocation, and drama that could tear blood-families apart. We consider these friends to be honorary grandparents, parents, sisters, and brothers.

Often, members of these friend-families can respond to emergencies faster than blood-family, especially when blood-family members live several hours away. Sometimes, friend-families are more equipped to handle the peripheral needs that come with emergencies. Blood-family can get immersed in the stress of the situation. Friend-families are sometimes able to take a breath, analyze the situation, and develop an action plan.

For example, Betty's blood-family was not able to meet all her physical and social needs during her last few months in the nursing home. My grandparents live just a few miles away from the facility. They visited her nearly every day, as their own health permitted, which was much more often than her son and grandson. They took her things she requested. They held her hands during her pain. On the day before she died, the nursing home administrator asked my grandparents if she was Betty's family. My grandmother's response: "Might as well be!." Last night, who did Betty call out to for help in one of her last moments? She said to my grandmother, "Help me! I hurt! Hold me!"

We "might as well be" family to our friends. We "might as well" take care of them just as we would our dearest blood-family. We "might as well" call on our friend-family when we are in need of help to move furniture, to put up crown moulding, to give us a ride when our car is broken, to meet us at the hospital when we are sick, to hold us when we are scared, to comfort us when we are sad....

As I pray for my dear friend and he prepares for surgery and mourn the loss of Betty, I remind you to call on your friend-families, in addition to your blood-families, for help, even in your job search. Cherish them all, and graciously accept their help when it is offered.

...And we "might as well" selflessly offer, or even insist, to help them when we see their need, even before they can ask.